Team: Philadelphia Union
Phang was born a regular precocious snake. Because snakes don’t have arms or legs, soccer was just out of the question. However, after a Ben Franklin-esque experiment with a metal cleat, a soccer ball, and some fateful lightning, Phang was hatched with arms, legs, and a sweet mohawk! At Union games you can find Phang hanging out on the plaza, hyping up fans and Dooping like nobody’s watching. A small portion of the Sons of Ben, the Union’s official supporters club, dubbed themselves the Wu-Phang clan, which led to Phang making an on-stage appearance with the Wu-Tang Clan at one of their shows. Phang’s best friends include the Phanatic, Franklin, Swoop, Gritty, and, of course, all the Union players.